When a haredi man
asked me to change my seat on a plane for him
http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/when-a-haredi-man-asked-me-to-change-my-seat-on-a-plane-for-him/?utm_source=The+Times+of+Israel+Daily+Edition&utm_campaign=ce3b1a9617-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2018_03_11&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_adb46cec92-ce3b1a9617-55741445
On a full El Al plane
to New York, I had just gotten settled in my hard-won aisle seat when two
Hasidic men, one visually impaired, approached my row. The other, who was
clearly looking out for both of them, glanced toward the two empty seats next
to me with apparent dismay.
He double-checked that
those were indeed their seats, and right away asked a man in a nearby aisle of
the middle section if he would switch with me, which he consented to do. I felt
bad, but I really prefer the window section, even if I’m in an aisle seat so I
declined to move.
I realized that
they probably needed to remain together so one could help the other, but I
was not stopping them from sitting in the two perfectly available seats next to
me and did not wish to inconvenience myself.
He accepted my
response politely and went and found a gentleman a few rows back in an
equivalent seat to my own, who was also willing to move. He then asked me
again. I agreed immediately and moved.
Our little “musical
chairs” was accomplished calmly and efficiently. A passenger in a nearby seat
got up and kindly switched the places of both our overhead bags, mine and the
gentleman’s, to be closer to our new seats. Everything was done respectfully
and without undue inconvenience or resentment.
There are plenty of
people with plenty of reasons for the things that they do. We may or may not
like everything. Personally, I am very uncomfortable with over-segregation of
women in the religious sector. But if no one is inconvenienced, and everyone is
respectful — and respected — why not make that little effort so that everyone
is comfortable?
If I got on a bus and
were asked to sit in the back, I would NOT be so nice. The situation on the
plane was different. I extended the same courtesy that I would have extended to
anyone asking to switch seats for any reason. Frankly, the reason doesn’t
involve or interest me at all, nor was it ever mentioned. I had a choice and I
only acquiesced when it truly didn’t affect me at all.
Further, I was
actually very happy to sit with two delightful young women who were equally
happy to sit with me, rather than sitting with two men who would have felt
uncomfortable throughout. Interesting to note that one of the women was also
asked to switch her seat, for a reason that had nothing to do with women or
Haredim…
Do we look unhappy? 🙂
The experience let me
see this hot-topic issue through
different eyes. Mind you, I will still fight for women’s rights in the
religious sector — or anywhere. But one of those “rights” isn’t the right to
sit next to men on a plane. Unless it’s your family member and you’re forcibly
made to sit apart for “religious reasons.”
But this? This was
simply an opportunity to do a nice thing for a fellow passenger that hurt no
one and made a lot of people smile. To me, that’s a win.
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